Yes - I am behind on my posts and comments. Now that I have unpacked my book from moving offices, I am committed to finishing this book. And what a great book this is!!!
This chapter can be summed up on p.36 -
"In one incredible moment [story of Jesus and the woman caught in adultery], Jesus brought together all that God is in his holiness and all that we could be in his grace. When we experience that same mercy from him, we too will be as soft a place for poeple to fall as Jesus was."
Am I a safe place for people to fall? Boy, I sure hope so. This is such an important point for it is the crux of how we relate to people - r we judgmental? r we selfishly protective of ourselves? do we look to our own interests? r we truly transparent with others? r we vulnerable to others?
Only then are we able to connect as a safe haven for people to trust.
p.37 - "Learning to deal with our past is critical to maintaining our friendships and opening up to new ones. Forgiveness and acceptance are the detergents of body life that allow us to live free of the past"
I have to let go of the hurt of my past and deal with it in order to stand alongside others. Interestingly, this is a process, but a journey not taken alone. Forgiveness has been granted to me and therefore I should be able to share it with others.
p.39 - great clarification statement worth mentioning:
"Forgiving and accepting others simply means that we won't hold them accountable to us for their failures but will continue to respond to them with love and grace . . .
We can forgive someone who is abusive without continuing to subject ourselves to that abuse. And our forgiveness does not mean that we should keep silent if that person seeks to hurt others. Nor does our forgivenss absolve people of their responsibility, only of their accountability to us."
How many times do we think that to forgive someone is to let them walk all over us? AND that thought keeps us from forgiveness? I know that I have been guilty of that in the past. But when I truly forgave and let God handle the rest. I walked in knowledge of that hurt as to not be hurt again (i.e. put myself in that position again), but didn't focus on the pain. And God took care of the rest.
p.40-41 - good clarification on the difference between Forgiveness and Reconciliation.
p. 41 - "For the body of Christ to stay relationally healthy, we will need to jump freely and often into the waters of forgiveness"
The word that struck me here was 'often'. Often implies (correctly) that it is a frequent reoccuring action. The opportunity to forgive comes up 'often' and we should do so. From forgiveness flows the water of reconciliation and healing. What great and powerful teaching from the Bible!!
p.43 - the Ministry of Presence
Boy, just being available to so key. I encourage others to do the same - don't worry about what to say, and sometimes don't say anything at all. Just be there, be available.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Chapter 2 - Loving Others like God loves you
Okay, so I like totally remember that we discussed this at Caribou, but I wanted to add some of those points to the blog.
Loved the quote:
"To love another person is to see the face of God" - Les Miserables
p. 27 - "Jesus frees us to demonstrate love in the moment for whoever is before us. We will never learn to love others, if we don't do it one at a time"
Man! I have been so guilty of looking at the 'biggest bang for the buck'. In other words, how can I effect the most amount of people in the shortest amount of time. When truly, one at a time is the key! We cannot microwave maturity.
p.29 - "Perhaps the greatest freedom of one anothering is the freedom God gives us not to be focused on ourselves all the time"
Whew - no more navel gazing here!
p.29 - "But is is sad that we find more enjoyment in watching [reality tv] people in contrived circumstances than we do in engaging in the fascinating stories going on in our own neighborhoods, workplaces, and congregations, where amazing heroes are doing the right thing against incredible odds."
Watching television has replaced our seeking to be involved in people's stories. I know flocking to the tube creates a sense that I won't get hurt, a false perception (or intimacy). Shame on me.
p. 29 - "We cannot do for others what hasn't already been done for us"
I must experience and accept God's forgiveness, service, and kindness, if I am to be able to do for others.
p. 30 - "He wants to set you so free in his love that it spills out of you and touches others"
Sweet. Use me Lord.
p.31 - "Relationships are organic, and as such they develop best when an outside regimen is not imposed on them."
Relationships are messy and do not subscribe to a certain formula, program, or pattern. Living life together is more important than the next or lastest or greatest new church growth strategy. We want things now, rather than work for the long haul . . .
Loved the quote:
"To love another person is to see the face of God" - Les Miserables
p. 27 - "Jesus frees us to demonstrate love in the moment for whoever is before us. We will never learn to love others, if we don't do it one at a time"
Man! I have been so guilty of looking at the 'biggest bang for the buck'. In other words, how can I effect the most amount of people in the shortest amount of time. When truly, one at a time is the key! We cannot microwave maturity.
p.29 - "Perhaps the greatest freedom of one anothering is the freedom God gives us not to be focused on ourselves all the time"
Whew - no more navel gazing here!
p.29 - "But is is sad that we find more enjoyment in watching [reality tv] people in contrived circumstances than we do in engaging in the fascinating stories going on in our own neighborhoods, workplaces, and congregations, where amazing heroes are doing the right thing against incredible odds."
Watching television has replaced our seeking to be involved in people's stories. I know flocking to the tube creates a sense that I won't get hurt, a false perception (or intimacy). Shame on me.
p. 29 - "We cannot do for others what hasn't already been done for us"
I must experience and accept God's forgiveness, service, and kindness, if I am to be able to do for others.
p. 30 - "He wants to set you so free in his love that it spills out of you and touches others"
Sweet. Use me Lord.
p.31 - "Relationships are organic, and as such they develop best when an outside regimen is not imposed on them."
Relationships are messy and do not subscribe to a certain formula, program, or pattern. Living life together is more important than the next or lastest or greatest new church growth strategy. We want things now, rather than work for the long haul . . .
Sunday, November 16, 2008
ChEeRLeAdIng Chaper 8
ENCOURAGE ON ANOTHER DAILY- heb. 3:13
COMFORT ONE ANOTHER- I thess. 4:18
STIMULATER ON ANOTHER TO LOVE AND GOOD DEEDS- heb. 10:24 (nasb)
"The best way to know what to say is to look back at your own experience. What have people said to you that made it easier to trust Jesus, and what misguided words only made Him seem farther away?"
Well- that quote about sums it up!? We learn from what has either happen to us or what didn't happen that we would of like to of! But not only the things that made us feel better but how did our faith in Christ influence our experience.
page 91- the author says, "being encouraged daily is not a luxury; it is a necessity." Seemingly our once a week gathering as a church body isn't enough; but rather the one on one relationship is where encouragement can be met at an even more indepth manner. Receiving that encouragement but we are to think of how we can help; ie- encourage; those that are around us that need a word to help them through the day.
thinking of encouragement makes me first think of an affirmation from someone or reciproctating by giving words of affirmation back. I believe there are times for that but more so it is the little purposeful acts of thoughtfullness allows people to know that we have made that special effort to encourage them. A phone call, a drop by to see them, an email to say hi, or even pat on the back can go a long way!
Comfort = 'to enable'
page 92, "Paul said that in the midst of their despair, God both comforted and delivered them."
My first thought here is that if you have to be comforted by someone you are a weak person- ok, I know that isn't very nice but I have also discovered that it isn't even the same type of comfort used in the text! as in the verse above the comforted meant to be able to enable them to endure the suffering so that they could have victory on the other side of the trouble.
"what comfort does best is to get our eyes off our efforts and our limitied resources and put them bakc on God and His power! " When our son was first born he was shipped immediately from our small town hospital to KC for immediate care for his heart. Talking about feeling useless! Several days went by without any progress on his care and at one time he almost went the other way too far. Our pastor called us and encouraged us to turn our son's life over to God and to allow Him to have control over that situation. I had never thought of this act or advise as being that of comfort until I had read this; but it certainly is. when we prayed that pray, giving our son back to the Lord to whom had created him and allowing Him the 'responsibility' of whatever was going to happen to happen- comfort soon came upon us. It was like a huge weight had been lifter from our shoulders. 2 Cor. 1:6 "If we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in your patient endourance of the same suffering we suffer. " (tbc)
COMFORT ONE ANOTHER- I thess. 4:18
STIMULATER ON ANOTHER TO LOVE AND GOOD DEEDS- heb. 10:24 (nasb)
"The best way to know what to say is to look back at your own experience. What have people said to you that made it easier to trust Jesus, and what misguided words only made Him seem farther away?"
Well- that quote about sums it up!? We learn from what has either happen to us or what didn't happen that we would of like to of! But not only the things that made us feel better but how did our faith in Christ influence our experience.
page 91- the author says, "being encouraged daily is not a luxury; it is a necessity." Seemingly our once a week gathering as a church body isn't enough; but rather the one on one relationship is where encouragement can be met at an even more indepth manner. Receiving that encouragement but we are to think of how we can help; ie- encourage; those that are around us that need a word to help them through the day.
thinking of encouragement makes me first think of an affirmation from someone or reciproctating by giving words of affirmation back. I believe there are times for that but more so it is the little purposeful acts of thoughtfullness allows people to know that we have made that special effort to encourage them. A phone call, a drop by to see them, an email to say hi, or even pat on the back can go a long way!
Comfort = 'to enable'
page 92, "Paul said that in the midst of their despair, God both comforted and delivered them."
My first thought here is that if you have to be comforted by someone you are a weak person- ok, I know that isn't very nice but I have also discovered that it isn't even the same type of comfort used in the text! as in the verse above the comforted meant to be able to enable them to endure the suffering so that they could have victory on the other side of the trouble.
"what comfort does best is to get our eyes off our efforts and our limitied resources and put them bakc on God and His power! " When our son was first born he was shipped immediately from our small town hospital to KC for immediate care for his heart. Talking about feeling useless! Several days went by without any progress on his care and at one time he almost went the other way too far. Our pastor called us and encouraged us to turn our son's life over to God and to allow Him to have control over that situation. I had never thought of this act or advise as being that of comfort until I had read this; but it certainly is. when we prayed that pray, giving our son back to the Lord to whom had created him and allowing Him the 'responsibility' of whatever was going to happen to happen- comfort soon came upon us. It was like a huge weight had been lifter from our shoulders. 2 Cor. 1:6 "If we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in your patient endourance of the same suffering we suffer. " (tbc)
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Chapter 7- Lightening the Load
Serve on another- Gal. 5:13
Carry each other's burdens- Gal. 6:2
Build each other up- I Thes. 5:11
Coming into the seventh chapter and just reading these excerpts from scripture makes us see the building up of learning to 'one another'. First we are to serve, rather than to be served! Second, we can unload on each other to help us with the burdens that weigh our lives down and thirdly; we need to encourage each other and lift each other up!
the quote from Albert Schweitzer is an invaluable insight: "I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know; the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve."
The story the author shares about the couple that saw the need of a neighbor and met that need without hesitation seems like a common thing among those that are actively listening for the Holy Spirits moving. "Sharing the Journey"- together in life we must be willing to be a part of others and vice versa, allow others to be a part of us. It seems that in today's world of individuality that premise is hard to wrap our thoughts around; allowing others to do for me?!!!
The best blessings I have received is from acting on the prompting of the Holy Spirit to do (or serve) something for someone. It may of been a phone call, a 'good deed' for someone, or a variety of other 'moments' that have shown itself to be HS induced!
page 81- serve one another
Jesus washing the feet of His disciples is the ultimate example of serving one another without thought of 'position' or status.
I know that I am guilty of see a real need and telling the people, 'well, if there is anything I can do, just let me know' when in reality I have let an opportunity go to help/serve.
A friend of mine just got back from serving in Turkestan (an old part of Russia) where it is very primitive to live- almost like living in the biblical times. Not speaking much of the language communication was limited. His neighbors wife passed away and as typical in that part of the world people would come to the house to mourn. Not know what else to do, that is exactly what my friend did, sat in the court yard of the sorrowing husband and mourned the death of someone he barely knew. His obedience and action was a huge message to the man; I care.
E.W. Howe says, "when a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it!"
page 82- serving from a heart of love
I don't know about you but it seems when someone finally does call for help it is the most inoperable time! After reading this section I realize that service to others is not always perfect timing- and perhaps it is a test of our attitudes! Paul tells us that serving isn't an act of slavery to be drudged but rather an opportunity for us to find JOY in Serving! "But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love." Gal. 5:13
"serving out of obedience alone is slavery; serving with love is a joy." doing with a good attitude! seems to be the secret to a joyful life.
page 84 "Carry Each Other's Burdens"
The example the books gives is great. A guy realizes that a friend, while playing basketball was in need of someone to talk to about his business. In doing so they ended up going to God in prayer for the situation.
I had served as a deacon in our past church and my wife and I had went to the hospital to visit a dear older friend of ours that was in his last stages of cancer. We had so much respect for this man of God and we listened as he told us that it wasn't the dieing part of this illness that bothered him, but rather the way in which he would die. He told us of how he had prayed to God just to let him die in peace so that he could come on and meet him. During his hospital stay he had shared with the workers of the love of Christ and the confidence he had in his Saviour. His testimony was awesome of the love he had for Christ. It was time for us to leave and I asked him if we could pray with him. We, my wife, Bill, and I held hands and I started to pray. My emotions so over come me that I couldn't stop weeping so I gently squeezed my wife's hand to prompt her to pray, as she started the same thing happened to her. So here we are, the two of us that came to bring comfort to this man that was dieing, bawling our eyes out, so......... Bill prayed for us! Even in Bill's dieing days, he was serving- he loved, he cared for those around him, and through it all, totally trusted and was sold out for Christ. (Why were we crying? I'm not sure but for some reason there seemed to be an unworthiness about me praying for Bill! Retrospectively, I wonder if it wasn't because of being awestruck with his confidence and love he so gracefully and marvelously showed of his Savior.)
page 85- build each other up.
Edifying each other is an act of putting our focus back on Jesus.
Life pretty much sucks at times and our focus is sometimes thrown off keel. As the book mentions, edifying one another allows us to help each other take our eyes off the world and to remember who we are in Christ!
My friend that was dieing was just that type of guy. Any time you were around Bill for very long you knew who Christ was and how He was there for you! Bill had that ornate ability to remember who's we are- Christ!
Trying to build one another up with worldly adoration's doesn't do it- but to reminded of who we belong to and who we can glorify in- lives worries and struggles are just not as pressing as they once were. Having the ability to rely on God for His care for us rather than us trying to do it ourselves free us of the heavy load. Giving friends a scripture that has helped us during trying times serves well with encouraging one another. Sometimes it is sharing our own struggles that makes the experience of building one another up the most useful!
Results from building each other up isn't something that is always seen. Truthful expressions of honesty and openness in order to edify each other may take time. It is the prompting of the Holy Spirit we are following in order to build others up, let the Holy Spirit do the job in the encourager- we just need to be obedient and share with each other.
Carry each other's burdens- Gal. 6:2
Build each other up- I Thes. 5:11
Coming into the seventh chapter and just reading these excerpts from scripture makes us see the building up of learning to 'one another'. First we are to serve, rather than to be served! Second, we can unload on each other to help us with the burdens that weigh our lives down and thirdly; we need to encourage each other and lift each other up!
the quote from Albert Schweitzer is an invaluable insight: "I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know; the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve."
The story the author shares about the couple that saw the need of a neighbor and met that need without hesitation seems like a common thing among those that are actively listening for the Holy Spirits moving. "Sharing the Journey"- together in life we must be willing to be a part of others and vice versa, allow others to be a part of us. It seems that in today's world of individuality that premise is hard to wrap our thoughts around; allowing others to do for me?!!!
The best blessings I have received is from acting on the prompting of the Holy Spirit to do (or serve) something for someone. It may of been a phone call, a 'good deed' for someone, or a variety of other 'moments' that have shown itself to be HS induced!
page 81- serve one another
Jesus washing the feet of His disciples is the ultimate example of serving one another without thought of 'position' or status.
I know that I am guilty of see a real need and telling the people, 'well, if there is anything I can do, just let me know' when in reality I have let an opportunity go to help/serve.
A friend of mine just got back from serving in Turkestan (an old part of Russia) where it is very primitive to live- almost like living in the biblical times. Not speaking much of the language communication was limited. His neighbors wife passed away and as typical in that part of the world people would come to the house to mourn. Not know what else to do, that is exactly what my friend did, sat in the court yard of the sorrowing husband and mourned the death of someone he barely knew. His obedience and action was a huge message to the man; I care.
E.W. Howe says, "when a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it!"
page 82- serving from a heart of love
I don't know about you but it seems when someone finally does call for help it is the most inoperable time! After reading this section I realize that service to others is not always perfect timing- and perhaps it is a test of our attitudes! Paul tells us that serving isn't an act of slavery to be drudged but rather an opportunity for us to find JOY in Serving! "But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love." Gal. 5:13
"serving out of obedience alone is slavery; serving with love is a joy." doing with a good attitude! seems to be the secret to a joyful life.
page 84 "Carry Each Other's Burdens"
The example the books gives is great. A guy realizes that a friend, while playing basketball was in need of someone to talk to about his business. In doing so they ended up going to God in prayer for the situation.
I had served as a deacon in our past church and my wife and I had went to the hospital to visit a dear older friend of ours that was in his last stages of cancer. We had so much respect for this man of God and we listened as he told us that it wasn't the dieing part of this illness that bothered him, but rather the way in which he would die. He told us of how he had prayed to God just to let him die in peace so that he could come on and meet him. During his hospital stay he had shared with the workers of the love of Christ and the confidence he had in his Saviour. His testimony was awesome of the love he had for Christ. It was time for us to leave and I asked him if we could pray with him. We, my wife, Bill, and I held hands and I started to pray. My emotions so over come me that I couldn't stop weeping so I gently squeezed my wife's hand to prompt her to pray, as she started the same thing happened to her. So here we are, the two of us that came to bring comfort to this man that was dieing, bawling our eyes out, so......... Bill prayed for us! Even in Bill's dieing days, he was serving- he loved, he cared for those around him, and through it all, totally trusted and was sold out for Christ. (Why were we crying? I'm not sure but for some reason there seemed to be an unworthiness about me praying for Bill! Retrospectively, I wonder if it wasn't because of being awestruck with his confidence and love he so gracefully and marvelously showed of his Savior.)
page 85- build each other up.
Edifying each other is an act of putting our focus back on Jesus.
Life pretty much sucks at times and our focus is sometimes thrown off keel. As the book mentions, edifying one another allows us to help each other take our eyes off the world and to remember who we are in Christ!
My friend that was dieing was just that type of guy. Any time you were around Bill for very long you knew who Christ was and how He was there for you! Bill had that ornate ability to remember who's we are- Christ!
Trying to build one another up with worldly adoration's doesn't do it- but to reminded of who we belong to and who we can glorify in- lives worries and struggles are just not as pressing as they once were. Having the ability to rely on God for His care for us rather than us trying to do it ourselves free us of the heavy load. Giving friends a scripture that has helped us during trying times serves well with encouraging one another. Sometimes it is sharing our own struggles that makes the experience of building one another up the most useful!
Results from building each other up isn't something that is always seen. Truthful expressions of honesty and openness in order to edify each other may take time. It is the prompting of the Holy Spirit we are following in order to build others up, let the Holy Spirit do the job in the encourager- we just need to be obedient and share with each other.
Part 3
"Having a friend to share your journey in uncertain moments and dark stretches will multiply your wisdom an dcourage greatly. We are not asked to go it alone but to enjoy the resources of others God has placed around us. "
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Chapter 6 Sharing God's Kindness!
Kindness is a way of doing what isn't able to be spoken at times.
The act of kindness was demonstrated to us by Christ- many times. In the example the book gives it shows that a very small act over time may prove to be more effective than words that hasn't been helpful and sometimes even be more harmful.
page 71- kindness in a selfish age
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless" Mother Theresa
I think back to my childhood and the man that was always kind and happy- his occasional but persistence of kindness made an impression on me. He was different- his kindness wasn't 'for anything' but rather it was just who he was! Later that difference helped me understand that unselfish kindness is a gift from God.
Focusing on needs of others allows us to see how we can be kind thus spreading the graciousness of Christ.
"while greeting and hospitality can open the door to relationships, acts of kindness and sharing can take them much further." It seems to be my tendency to evaluate the greeting and hospitality portion before providing the acts of kindness. That sounds awful when I spell it out but I'm thinking there is a lot of truth to that. Isn't that how we pick and choose our friends; after the greeting and hospitality deciding if we want to pursue the relationship or not; and if so then provide the kindness. ugh! that's not right! but dang it, it seems to be true!
page 72 - breaking the cycle
Some scriptures-
Eph. 4:31 "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice"
I Thes. 5:15 "make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else."
These words from scripture is not words that you would hear outside the realms of Christian circle, and perhaps disappointedly not in many Christian cirlces. It's almost a precursor to being able to be kind- get the crud out of the way so that when we do kind things they are for the right reason.
I believe it is in proverbs that says that bitterness is poison to our soul- makes sense, doesn't it!? I know I have known people that have hung on to things that has done nothing for the situation except cause more hurt and animosity- as a matter of fact I have been there! It seems that Paul is causing us to look at ourselves and rid ourselves of things that could prevent us to being the kind people that we are meant to be.
After ridding ourselves of the bitterness Paul instructs us to do what goes against what we would normally do- be kind! ikes! Being intentionally kind when our nature says to hold a grudge is a way of breaking the cycle- doing what seemingly seems contrary to our nature!
Page 73- Living in Generosity
Of all the words in the world I'm thinking that generosity would not be one that would describe me! Being able to let go of 'things' is difficult for me. The author encourages us to let go and see the needs around us as being opportunities to give to others. He also talks about our generosity being something that can never exceed the generosity of God. Being aware of opportunities to give our stuff away will help us be better prepared to be resourceful with God's gifts to us.
Page 75- You Did it for me
"More than anything else, Jesus said our acts of kindness and sharing reveal the depth of our relationship with him." The tool that we can measure our relationship with Christ is our kindness? He also states that at the end of the day we can measure our love for God by the love and kindness we show to others!
"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me." "Whenever you did not do for one for one of the least of these, you did not do for me." per Jesus.
Our lives are a reflection of the compassion and kindness that Christ has shown us. How's your reflection? Mine is sometimes tarnished because of my humanly nature to hold grudges. It is my desire to be more keenly aware of the compassion and grace that God has bestowed upon me so that I can and will reciprocate to others those wonderful gifts.
The act of kindness was demonstrated to us by Christ- many times. In the example the book gives it shows that a very small act over time may prove to be more effective than words that hasn't been helpful and sometimes even be more harmful.
page 71- kindness in a selfish age
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless" Mother Theresa
I think back to my childhood and the man that was always kind and happy- his occasional but persistence of kindness made an impression on me. He was different- his kindness wasn't 'for anything' but rather it was just who he was! Later that difference helped me understand that unselfish kindness is a gift from God.
Focusing on needs of others allows us to see how we can be kind thus spreading the graciousness of Christ.
"while greeting and hospitality can open the door to relationships, acts of kindness and sharing can take them much further." It seems to be my tendency to evaluate the greeting and hospitality portion before providing the acts of kindness. That sounds awful when I spell it out but I'm thinking there is a lot of truth to that. Isn't that how we pick and choose our friends; after the greeting and hospitality deciding if we want to pursue the relationship or not; and if so then provide the kindness. ugh! that's not right! but dang it, it seems to be true!
page 72 - breaking the cycle
Some scriptures-
Eph. 4:31 "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice"
I Thes. 5:15 "make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else."
These words from scripture is not words that you would hear outside the realms of Christian circle, and perhaps disappointedly not in many Christian cirlces. It's almost a precursor to being able to be kind- get the crud out of the way so that when we do kind things they are for the right reason.
I believe it is in proverbs that says that bitterness is poison to our soul- makes sense, doesn't it!? I know I have known people that have hung on to things that has done nothing for the situation except cause more hurt and animosity- as a matter of fact I have been there! It seems that Paul is causing us to look at ourselves and rid ourselves of things that could prevent us to being the kind people that we are meant to be.
After ridding ourselves of the bitterness Paul instructs us to do what goes against what we would normally do- be kind! ikes! Being intentionally kind when our nature says to hold a grudge is a way of breaking the cycle- doing what seemingly seems contrary to our nature!
Page 73- Living in Generosity
Of all the words in the world I'm thinking that generosity would not be one that would describe me! Being able to let go of 'things' is difficult for me. The author encourages us to let go and see the needs around us as being opportunities to give to others. He also talks about our generosity being something that can never exceed the generosity of God. Being aware of opportunities to give our stuff away will help us be better prepared to be resourceful with God's gifts to us.
Page 75- You Did it for me
"More than anything else, Jesus said our acts of kindness and sharing reveal the depth of our relationship with him." The tool that we can measure our relationship with Christ is our kindness? He also states that at the end of the day we can measure our love for God by the love and kindness we show to others!
"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me." "Whenever you did not do for one for one of the least of these, you did not do for me." per Jesus.
Our lives are a reflection of the compassion and kindness that Christ has shown us. How's your reflection? Mine is sometimes tarnished because of my humanly nature to hold grudges. It is my desire to be more keenly aware of the compassion and grace that God has bestowed upon me so that I can and will reciprocate to others those wonderful gifts.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Chaper 5 INITIAL CONTACT
it's TRUE IT'S TRUE! your first greeting leaves a huge impression!!!
I'm sure as you think about times that you had your first encounter with someone that had a positive, sincere greeting you may get a smile on your face or a warm fuzzy inside. I have thought about people like that and wondered if people have that same response the first time I greet someone. Some folks I know say that it isn't their 'gift' to greet as they are shy or bashful.
The author tells of the friend that made a point of learning how to greet, to be mentor by an older gentleman. I would contend that we have either 'learned' to be someone that can greet by example or not greet by example. But as the author points out it is the Christians 'way of life' to greet each other.
page 61- the author says that the beginnings of a relationship can vary from culture to culture but for all it's really starts with the sincere greeting.
Jesus engaged the conversation with a question that was out of the ordinary; catching his visitor totally off guard.
I was thinking about the way I try to greet people. I think it may depend on where I am, who I'm around and what's going on. The saying "How are you doing?" seems to be leaving the culture of today; instead you may hear, "hey" "what's up" or even a grunt! Whatever the greeting, they all seem to lean towards not being really wanting to know. BUT, I remember the first time someone greeted me with the right hand shake followed by the left hand on top of my right while looking me in the eyes and saying, "hello". That was different! It was almost as if though they really meant it!!!
It is greetings like that that gets my attention and introduces me to someone that has a concern when he/she asks me a question. Our greetings can be looked at like being the first step of ministry to those around us. We will either represent ourselves as open and accepting or closed and distant to wanting any type of relationship.
Imparting a Blessing- page 63
Although practised in the biblical times, it does seem a bit different in today's culture. I have a friend that will always ends our conversations with- 'blessings friend'. As good as I think that sounds, it sometimes bothers me- because.. . .. it's different! I wonder- can he do that! Can we 'give' blessing to each other? Undoubtedly the author has given many examples of doing that very thing- but they were biblical dudes!
Guess Who's coming to Dinner? page 64
Eating together has been a long time Baptist tradition! It was interesting that the author didn't really mention the church dinners or fellowships but rather opening one another homes to each other- any time. I relate to this, I love unplanned meals, visits, and company! As the author points out, it is the openness to allow people to see us as we are that transforms a relationship in to a true friendship. If people see your house with dishes in the sink, that's OK! really, it's ok!
Deeper Still page 65
There is nothing better than going on a mission trip for a week or two with new couples or families! When you return you will know them better than you could ever get to know them at home with our busy schedules. It's the hours together that allows to see each other for real.
I remember getting activated to Desert Storm. Our reserve unit of 50 people were united with over 1200 people to create the Fleet Hospital that we served. The initial activation was in New Jersey. We were given assignments with different people, did different activities with each other and played war together. During those initial 10 days the mask of fakiness fell off and people began seeing each other who they really were. Thus the same for any 'group' of people that get together.
Leaving Room in the Margins page 66
margins in life- "they fill up every available space with job, family responsibilities, and recreational pursuits and have nothing left in the reserve for unexpected crisis or opportunity."
WOW- the was a shot between the eyes- been there and done that- not a pretty thing! Being the social butterfly (or moose) like I am, when I book myself so tight that there is no breathing room I get frustrated and discouraged.
The author posses that we purposely pray about our schedules- what a bizarre concept! Ah, but I know that! He suggest that if we are too busy to have folks over for dinner once in a while than we might be a bit too busy!
I appreciated his thoughts about finding time with friends at the most unusual times. I enjoy asking people if they want to go to the store with me, have coffee with me, travel to see my mother with me- I just like being around people [or it could be i don't like being by myself- different subject different time!].
You Never Know.....
"Keep on loving each other as brothers. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angles without knowing it" Heb. 13:1-2 That's a tough verse! I can not think of one time that I have invited a total stranger into our home for dinner. Is that like picking the guy up off the Broadway Extension Bridge to bring home for dinner?
This chapter has brought home the importance of the greeting and the hospitality of beginning are relationship. These two acts will begin a relationship quicker than any, I would imagine.
I'm sure as you think about times that you had your first encounter with someone that had a positive, sincere greeting you may get a smile on your face or a warm fuzzy inside. I have thought about people like that and wondered if people have that same response the first time I greet someone. Some folks I know say that it isn't their 'gift' to greet as they are shy or bashful.
The author tells of the friend that made a point of learning how to greet, to be mentor by an older gentleman. I would contend that we have either 'learned' to be someone that can greet by example or not greet by example. But as the author points out it is the Christians 'way of life' to greet each other.
page 61- the author says that the beginnings of a relationship can vary from culture to culture but for all it's really starts with the sincere greeting.
Jesus engaged the conversation with a question that was out of the ordinary; catching his visitor totally off guard.
I was thinking about the way I try to greet people. I think it may depend on where I am, who I'm around and what's going on. The saying "How are you doing?" seems to be leaving the culture of today; instead you may hear, "hey" "what's up" or even a grunt! Whatever the greeting, they all seem to lean towards not being really wanting to know. BUT, I remember the first time someone greeted me with the right hand shake followed by the left hand on top of my right while looking me in the eyes and saying, "hello". That was different! It was almost as if though they really meant it!!!
It is greetings like that that gets my attention and introduces me to someone that has a concern when he/she asks me a question. Our greetings can be looked at like being the first step of ministry to those around us. We will either represent ourselves as open and accepting or closed and distant to wanting any type of relationship.
Imparting a Blessing- page 63
Although practised in the biblical times, it does seem a bit different in today's culture. I have a friend that will always ends our conversations with- 'blessings friend'. As good as I think that sounds, it sometimes bothers me- because.. . .. it's different! I wonder- can he do that! Can we 'give' blessing to each other? Undoubtedly the author has given many examples of doing that very thing- but they were biblical dudes!
Guess Who's coming to Dinner? page 64
Eating together has been a long time Baptist tradition! It was interesting that the author didn't really mention the church dinners or fellowships but rather opening one another homes to each other- any time. I relate to this, I love unplanned meals, visits, and company! As the author points out, it is the openness to allow people to see us as we are that transforms a relationship in to a true friendship. If people see your house with dishes in the sink, that's OK! really, it's ok!
Deeper Still page 65
There is nothing better than going on a mission trip for a week or two with new couples or families! When you return you will know them better than you could ever get to know them at home with our busy schedules. It's the hours together that allows to see each other for real.
I remember getting activated to Desert Storm. Our reserve unit of 50 people were united with over 1200 people to create the Fleet Hospital that we served. The initial activation was in New Jersey. We were given assignments with different people, did different activities with each other and played war together. During those initial 10 days the mask of fakiness fell off and people began seeing each other who they really were. Thus the same for any 'group' of people that get together.
Leaving Room in the Margins page 66
margins in life- "they fill up every available space with job, family responsibilities, and recreational pursuits and have nothing left in the reserve for unexpected crisis or opportunity."
WOW- the was a shot between the eyes- been there and done that- not a pretty thing! Being the social butterfly (or moose) like I am, when I book myself so tight that there is no breathing room I get frustrated and discouraged.
The author posses that we purposely pray about our schedules- what a bizarre concept! Ah, but I know that! He suggest that if we are too busy to have folks over for dinner once in a while than we might be a bit too busy!
I appreciated his thoughts about finding time with friends at the most unusual times. I enjoy asking people if they want to go to the store with me, have coffee with me, travel to see my mother with me- I just like being around people [or it could be i don't like being by myself- different subject different time!].
You Never Know.....
"Keep on loving each other as brothers. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angles without knowing it" Heb. 13:1-2 That's a tough verse! I can not think of one time that I have invited a total stranger into our home for dinner. Is that like picking the guy up off the Broadway Extension Bridge to bring home for dinner?
This chapter has brought home the importance of the greeting and the hospitality of beginning are relationship. These two acts will begin a relationship quicker than any, I would imagine.
PART 2- OPENING THE DOOR
"Every friend you have today was once a stranger who crossed your path. Friendships begin in simple moments offered by a warm smile, a gentle word, or a kind act. They open the way for us to discover the treasures God has place around us." quote from Authenic Relastionships
continue Chapter 4
[Allen's Post}]
page 53 Honor One Another above Yourselves;
How is it that we, as a body of believers can truly honor one another? How does that look- ? The author I thought made some good points.
In the spring of this year I went to a conference in Philly with New Life Ministries. It was interesting to learn that when God is our lives and helping us identify sin that is causing our relationship to be hindered, it isn't always pleasant. Family disruption can take place, friends can turn on you, the peace in side of ourselves is hidden by the shame and guilt that has been placed on us by Satan, and all of these things; however horrific they are, are part of process of seeing God in all of His glory. When we allow God to help us overcome the obstacles in life that keeps us from that glorifying relationship with Christ we then have a testimony for Christ's working in our lives. To many times we are still not satisfied with that and find ourselves drifting back into the darkness of the sin and lies that have befallen us before. Why? I think that the answer has to do with what the author is talking about- "honor one another above yourself'. We need to be willing to speak of the dark times in life to those around us that are going through the same things. Many times when I have traveled through the darkness I just want to get out and stay out of it but I'm thinking until I reach out to those around me, that God puts in my path, and tells them of my own dark times, they may never be released from it; nor I! Charles Swindoll says, "You can not have a testimony without a test". Well said. If our lives are perfect, like I have tried to live life, then why would I need Christ?
Christ was totally honest with people but He was perfect. He has designed us to be totally honest with people about ourselves and showing how God has created in us the peace that comes from His forgiveness and acceptance.
The 'business' of church is sometimes endangering that type of honesty and relationship because we find ourselves going through the motions of doing and saying what we have always been expected to say or do.
The authors points out on page 54 that we are consumers going to church- what does that church have to offer ME! It is so true that as long as we are consumers within the church will will NEVER- NEVER understanding what Christian community is all about! God help us to understand that and strive to meet the true needs of others!
page 53 Honor One Another above Yourselves;
How is it that we, as a body of believers can truly honor one another? How does that look- ? The author I thought made some good points.
In the spring of this year I went to a conference in Philly with New Life Ministries. It was interesting to learn that when God is our lives and helping us identify sin that is causing our relationship to be hindered, it isn't always pleasant. Family disruption can take place, friends can turn on you, the peace in side of ourselves is hidden by the shame and guilt that has been placed on us by Satan, and all of these things; however horrific they are, are part of process of seeing God in all of His glory. When we allow God to help us overcome the obstacles in life that keeps us from that glorifying relationship with Christ we then have a testimony for Christ's working in our lives. To many times we are still not satisfied with that and find ourselves drifting back into the darkness of the sin and lies that have befallen us before. Why? I think that the answer has to do with what the author is talking about- "honor one another above yourself'. We need to be willing to speak of the dark times in life to those around us that are going through the same things. Many times when I have traveled through the darkness I just want to get out and stay out of it but I'm thinking until I reach out to those around me, that God puts in my path, and tells them of my own dark times, they may never be released from it; nor I! Charles Swindoll says, "You can not have a testimony without a test". Well said. If our lives are perfect, like I have tried to live life, then why would I need Christ?
Christ was totally honest with people but He was perfect. He has designed us to be totally honest with people about ourselves and showing how God has created in us the peace that comes from His forgiveness and acceptance.
The 'business' of church is sometimes endangering that type of honesty and relationship because we find ourselves going through the motions of doing and saying what we have always been expected to say or do.
The authors points out on page 54 that we are consumers going to church- what does that church have to offer ME! It is so true that as long as we are consumers within the church will will NEVER- NEVER understanding what Christian community is all about! God help us to understand that and strive to meet the true needs of others!
Friday, October 24, 2008
Chapter 4
[Allen] continuing from the last post-
page 48 "When you know that your whole life is in God's hands and that he can provide everything you need, you no longer have to fight for things at someone else's expense. You will find yourself relaxed enough to actually do that things that can bless someone else."
In the times of economy that we are having, how approriate for this statement to be talked about. Our lives doesn't revolve around the economy nor the stock market. Our life savings for our worldly posessions perhaps but when we get down to the bottom line, it is life of others that we should be most concerned about. God has promised to take care of our needs- "...Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." For me slowing down trying to do so much to take of our selfish desires would allow me more times for others. God will provide for the things I need.
at the end of the next paragraph it says, "No matter how much we may tell people we want to help, our demeanor may be screaming that we don't." Telling people, 'let's get together' really is meaningless unless we do it- and when we don't- that sends a loud message to them that we really don't care enough to make the time.
page 50 EXPECTATIONS
Christ had came to earth to live a life and to model example of life for all to see. Having the foreknowledge of the His disciples it would seem reasonible that He would chose people that would be more 'in tune' with His plan. But instead even after He had told them what was about to happen at Calvary they were still arguing who was the best and who would be reigning with him on his earthly kingdom- they didn't get it. He knew their weakness as humans and didn't expect more than they were capable of. That is a thought of comfort to me- God knows me, His expectations of me isn't higher than the ability He has given me to achieve.
What happens when we put expectations on our friends and they don't live up to them? How do we respond? "Disappointments are the surest test that you are a captive to expectations [page 51]." When I was in charge of a Sunday School Class I found myself doing this alot, having expectations of the students; which would always lead to diasters. Many times I would come away from the class being disappointed because of the expectations I had anticipated. "Expectations are resentments waiting to happen [page 50]." is exactly what was happening- I was sabotaging our relationship because of expectations that should of never been made on them.
devoted vs. committed
What a buzz word, committed? Committed to this and that, making packs, or vows to each other that many times finds ourselves not being able to follow through with. Page 51 talks about the word commitment and it wasn't used once in the New Testament! ouch! the word devoted is actually translated having kindly affection for others rather than to being committed! Relationship, rather than promises or expectations. Who are we to expect more out of others than what ourselves are unable to do. As we lose the expectations of others we allow to see them as Christ see them- our eyes are hoped to what we can do to serve them, to love them, and to be real with them.
page 48 "When you know that your whole life is in God's hands and that he can provide everything you need, you no longer have to fight for things at someone else's expense. You will find yourself relaxed enough to actually do that things that can bless someone else."
In the times of economy that we are having, how approriate for this statement to be talked about. Our lives doesn't revolve around the economy nor the stock market. Our life savings for our worldly posessions perhaps but when we get down to the bottom line, it is life of others that we should be most concerned about. God has promised to take care of our needs- "...Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." For me slowing down trying to do so much to take of our selfish desires would allow me more times for others. God will provide for the things I need.
at the end of the next paragraph it says, "No matter how much we may tell people we want to help, our demeanor may be screaming that we don't." Telling people, 'let's get together' really is meaningless unless we do it- and when we don't- that sends a loud message to them that we really don't care enough to make the time.
page 50 EXPECTATIONS
Christ had came to earth to live a life and to model example of life for all to see. Having the foreknowledge of the His disciples it would seem reasonible that He would chose people that would be more 'in tune' with His plan. But instead even after He had told them what was about to happen at Calvary they were still arguing who was the best and who would be reigning with him on his earthly kingdom- they didn't get it. He knew their weakness as humans and didn't expect more than they were capable of. That is a thought of comfort to me- God knows me, His expectations of me isn't higher than the ability He has given me to achieve.
What happens when we put expectations on our friends and they don't live up to them? How do we respond? "Disappointments are the surest test that you are a captive to expectations [page 51]." When I was in charge of a Sunday School Class I found myself doing this alot, having expectations of the students; which would always lead to diasters. Many times I would come away from the class being disappointed because of the expectations I had anticipated. "Expectations are resentments waiting to happen [page 50]." is exactly what was happening- I was sabotaging our relationship because of expectations that should of never been made on them.
devoted vs. committed
What a buzz word, committed? Committed to this and that, making packs, or vows to each other that many times finds ourselves not being able to follow through with. Page 51 talks about the word commitment and it wasn't used once in the New Testament! ouch! the word devoted is actually translated having kindly affection for others rather than to being committed! Relationship, rather than promises or expectations. Who are we to expect more out of others than what ourselves are unable to do. As we lose the expectations of others we allow to see them as Christ see them- our eyes are hoped to what we can do to serve them, to love them, and to be real with them.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Preface and Chapter 1
Here are Allen's Comments along with mine - in [ ] brackets
In the preface a statement caught my attention:
"If you have ever hungered for deeper relationships with other believers, perhaps you are ready to realize the difference between going to church and being the church"
That is a huge statement! going and being?
[ holy cow! that was a good statement - i was struck by how often we think that going and completing the task or fulfilling the duty is what constitutes church. 'being' is a great definition/word/illustration. I was listening to the new 'downhere' CD in which one of the songs is about that we are a 'Cathedral of People - not a building seen by human eyes'. It reminded me of 2 Cor 3:2-3 - we are living letters written on hearts]
pg 16 ..... many of us protect ourselves from the kind of friendships that connect us deeply with others.
[ i also marked this passage. I found it interesting that he remarks it is b/c of pain from past experiences and we end up conflicted. Good stuff]
pg 17 healthy relationships......are created by capturing Jesus' heart for life-changing relationships -
[I marked this too! How much have we captured Jesus' heart? I wish I have captured more.]
Story of Zacchaeus made me think of people we had went to church with at Northland. There was a couple that was unusual and thought of that way by most. they wanted to have lunch with us but we always found a reason not to. Looking back I wonder if we had missed out a blessing.
pg 18- ...... people who say they love you but only so long as you benefit them.
[Yep - sucks doesn't it. I wrote in my book on this point: Could this be an issue for a 'needs' based church approach? This continued on pg 19 where we have to move beyond task oriented relationships. I was struck by this. how many relationships do I have that are task oriented. I'm only in a relationship with them b/c it revolves around a task. AND how am I treating those in whom I don't have a task relationship?]
pg 19 .....we can escape the trap only by living the way Jesus did, not trying to get love for ourselves, but learning how to share it with others.
Discussion questions:
1> Think of one of the most significant relationships you have had in your life other than immediate family. Share about that person briefly and tell what made the relationship so special. Lloyd- my dad's cousin- he accepted me as I was. after a time of being together trust was built and being able to talk about anything was nature.
[Mike Hayes - he helped me understand what a prayer relationship with Jesus is all about and that I could talk about anything, especially beyond 'churchy' talk.]
2> think of one incident in that relationship that illustrates what you valued most about that person. what about friendship did you learn from the incident? he allowed me to have the feelings I did withouth judging me, rather he tried to influence me in ways that helped me see things the way Christ would see them. I learned that he cared enough about me to help me see life through the eyes of Christ.
[I grew to be able share aspects of my life not only with Christ but also as open confession or expression before brothers in Christ]
3> Make a list from these stories that defines what your group has already learned about the attributes of friendship. acceptance, listening, honesty,
[oooh - totally agree on the acceptance one. especially when hearing tough things. Integrity was another.]
4> How does this list relect the ways God has expressed his love to you? Which of these would you like to see in your relationships with other believers as well? God is willing to accept me with all my junk, He listens to my plies for forgiveness, and He honestly tells me the things I need to hear about life. Certainly I would like to have my believing friends to be the same way- and vise versus! I need to be accepting, listen, and be honest.
[absolutely agree! I will comment on this in the next chapter]
Hope you weekend with the outdoor enthusist(sp?) went well! I'm be excited to hear about it! Did we talk about getting together this week? [Great time - a little rainy.We did not talk about getting together. What does your schedule look like right now? Are Wed mornings good?PLUS - we have kittens now - 2 of them 'Simba' and 'Cleo' short for cleopatra.]
Have a great week brother.
In the preface a statement caught my attention:
"If you have ever hungered for deeper relationships with other believers, perhaps you are ready to realize the difference between going to church and being the church"
That is a huge statement! going and being?
[ holy cow! that was a good statement - i was struck by how often we think that going and completing the task or fulfilling the duty is what constitutes church. 'being' is a great definition/word/illustration. I was listening to the new 'downhere' CD in which one of the songs is about that we are a 'Cathedral of People - not a building seen by human eyes'. It reminded me of 2 Cor 3:2-3 - we are living letters written on hearts]
pg 16 ..... many of us protect ourselves from the kind of friendships that connect us deeply with others.
[ i also marked this passage. I found it interesting that he remarks it is b/c of pain from past experiences and we end up conflicted. Good stuff]
pg 17 healthy relationships......are created by capturing Jesus' heart for life-changing relationships -
[I marked this too! How much have we captured Jesus' heart? I wish I have captured more.]
Story of Zacchaeus made me think of people we had went to church with at Northland. There was a couple that was unusual and thought of that way by most. they wanted to have lunch with us but we always found a reason not to. Looking back I wonder if we had missed out a blessing.
pg 18- ...... people who say they love you but only so long as you benefit them.
[Yep - sucks doesn't it. I wrote in my book on this point: Could this be an issue for a 'needs' based church approach? This continued on pg 19 where we have to move beyond task oriented relationships. I was struck by this. how many relationships do I have that are task oriented. I'm only in a relationship with them b/c it revolves around a task. AND how am I treating those in whom I don't have a task relationship?]
pg 19 .....we can escape the trap only by living the way Jesus did, not trying to get love for ourselves, but learning how to share it with others.
Discussion questions:
1> Think of one of the most significant relationships you have had in your life other than immediate family. Share about that person briefly and tell what made the relationship so special. Lloyd- my dad's cousin- he accepted me as I was. after a time of being together trust was built and being able to talk about anything was nature.
[Mike Hayes - he helped me understand what a prayer relationship with Jesus is all about and that I could talk about anything, especially beyond 'churchy' talk.]
2> think of one incident in that relationship that illustrates what you valued most about that person. what about friendship did you learn from the incident? he allowed me to have the feelings I did withouth judging me, rather he tried to influence me in ways that helped me see things the way Christ would see them. I learned that he cared enough about me to help me see life through the eyes of Christ.
[I grew to be able share aspects of my life not only with Christ but also as open confession or expression before brothers in Christ]
3> Make a list from these stories that defines what your group has already learned about the attributes of friendship. acceptance, listening, honesty,
[oooh - totally agree on the acceptance one. especially when hearing tough things. Integrity was another.]
4> How does this list relect the ways God has expressed his love to you? Which of these would you like to see in your relationships with other believers as well? God is willing to accept me with all my junk, He listens to my plies for forgiveness, and He honestly tells me the things I need to hear about life. Certainly I would like to have my believing friends to be the same way- and vise versus! I need to be accepting, listen, and be honest.
[absolutely agree! I will comment on this in the next chapter]
Hope you weekend with the outdoor enthusist(sp?) went well! I'm be excited to hear about it! Did we talk about getting together this week? [Great time - a little rainy.We did not talk about getting together. What does your schedule look like right now? Are Wed mornings good?PLUS - we have kittens now - 2 of them 'Simba' and 'Cleo' short for cleopatra.]
Have a great week brother.
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